Yes they know a lot, but only you know your body. This is a funny thing coming from someone who has no clue what her body is going to do from day to day. Even with that though, I know if something going on with my body is normal for me or not. Many of the things can be related to the MS, but every once in a while something comes up that is not. Many times though when I go to the Dr. they automatically push it off as the MS. Those are the times when we have to summon all of our strength and tell the Dr. that they are wrong. It is hard to do, but sometimes you have to. If your child or loved one is sick, we are more than willing to push for answers, but too often when it is with our selves, we just let things go. This is a lesson I have learned the hard way, and more than once (I am a little hardheaded, so some things take longer to sink in). If you are experiencing new pain, numbness, or anything, you have to get it checked out. Even if it is just the MS (or other disease) the Dr. needs to know so that they can keep track of what is going on. Like I said Dr.s don't know everything. This is true for the fact that they can be wrong, but also that we cant expect them to know everything right away. Yes they are the ones with the degree and are paid the big bucks, but they are not living in our bodies. We have to take the responsibility to be honest about what is going on. A great way to do this is to make a list and keep it with you. Any time you experience something different, write it down, you can add things as needed, or cross things off if you want because you find out they were something like a bug bite..ect. It will not only make things easier during your appt., but it will help you gain a little bit of control over your disease. Oh yeah, and for all of you reading this who know me, I don't need comments on how I should follow my own advice..lol, I know that I am good at knowing what to do, but not at actually doing it (I already admitted to being hardheaded).
It is funny how when facing something like illness, your priorities change. The things that you used to view as important, or think you couldn't live without: you realize how insignificant they are. When I was first diagnosed with MS my biggest fear was being in a wheelchair. I didn't know how I could still be as active as I was used to being from a wheelchair. Well I have to say, after being in a wheel chair and now having the strength back to walk, I now realize that not having proper use of my legs was pretty much on the bottom of the list of things that were important. It is hard when you have to realize the reality of what is to come. I had a Dr.s appt. today. The whole way there I was praying for the Dr. to tell me that they had found something, anything but what he did tell me. I am sure people will throw a fit at me for saying this, but if you sit and think logically, you will understand what I am saying. There are so many things that it could have been that I could at least hope for a cure, or anything to help me get better. When the Dr. drops the bomb that it is the MS, all hope flies out the window. I know that it is almost impossible for someone who has never been sick to understand. The first words of "comfort" that I received after my appt. were "well, you're doing better than you were before because you can walk". I know that those words were supposed to be comforting, but they just made me mad. Yes I can walk, but every night when I lay down, I feel like someone is slicing at my legs with a jagged knife. I cant control my bladder, and the muscles to my bowels are too weak so my body is filling with toxins causing me to get sicker, I cant remember if I have eaten, brushed my teeth, or when the last shower I had was without writing everything down. Even then, I forget where I wrote it. I found four books when I rearranged my room, and all I had written almost the same thing, that I was starting this book so that I can try to remember things that go on during the day. I shake too badly for me to draw or paint, my lungs aren't strong enough for me to sing anymore, everything I once loved is now a memory that I cant even remember. But I am supposed to be thankful that I can walk.
| AuthorA mother with MS just trying to make it in this world. ArchivesMay 2013 Categories |
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